Saturday, October 21, 2006
blogger is being laggy and dumb. and lags my com too slowly.
oh gosh im blogging again after like 2 months? haha i can conclude that im a lazy pig who cant bring myself to even blog abt anything, even after the finals'. yes indeed.
IM PROMOTED!!!
yes i am. and it was really a sign of relief for me when i passed english. considering the fact that i failed my math and sciences (that's how whorible i am in my studies). but on a brighter note, i clinched a distinction for lit and cheena (i dont know how and i still hate the subject) and i passed averagly for comb humans. i did pretty well for ss but it was the stupid geog that pulled my grade down.
well anyway congrats to those who did well or exceeded their expectations in this exam.
so the last 2 days were intensive script-checking. i dont kn0w how we managed but we did. it was hell tiring and it was like cramming every subject, paper after paper and just spending our whole day in the hall doing nothing but checking scripts. moreover for ppl like me who failed 4 subjects, its really quite a huge blow to get back everything only to realize u failed everything. well i kinda expected it anyway, but still. its mind boggling and emotionally straining.
i didnt think i would take my results so seriously esp a math which i always claimed it was a big joke. but i guess i did. yesterday and especially today, during the checking of papers. i felt just so depressed and disappointed with myself. a sense of fatigue overwhelmed me as i forced myself to maintain my composure. i mean i've already tried my best and worked hard over this year. and is the result i get? am i still not used to sec 3 life? whilst all my peers are scoring and aiming for their As? and im still trying desperately to pass? IMPOSSIBLE. something must be wrong, i thought to myself. but i've tried everything possible and nothing seems to be working right for me. i shallnt go into the details, but in general i could do less than half of the paper for the math and sciences. why? i ask myself? is it because i dont understand the content? not enough practice? or i simply aint cut out for math and sciences? i dont know. why does most ppl in my class who studies under the same environment and have the same teachers ace? but im definitely not giving up since God and everyone did not give up on me..
another issue im upset about is that some ppl are just so fast in their learning and absorbing information and some are just plain "tyco" while i have neither and i've literally cracked my brains trying to mug for this finals'. i started mugging as early as a month before the exams and i did intensive revision almost everyday. but why can someone who doesnt do anything in school, doesnt pay attention, doesnt do assignments and work, and has a very bad attitude, possibly achieved As and Bs in thes exams? does he have some extra power or did he work hard for it? i feel that this is so unjust. im just someone who's the exact opposite, i work hard and do my work regulary but i failed everything. just great.
Also, i felt that i've let down and disappointed my teachers especially sister seow wee, math teacher. i mean all of them work very hard since the beginning of this year to aim for us to fufill our fullest potential in this exam. and yet i came back with this kind of shit results. i've not done to my fullest potential, i know myself. and seow wee especially has worked tremdously hard and have forked out extra effort for our class especially the few of us when many a times, we offered us remedials lasting till the night and we'll the only souls in the schools. and even so she cared so much for us and kept reprimanding us and piling us with work, with the mere intention of helping us. However what we returned her was complains, being rude, talking and not paying attention during math and alas, scoring this kind of 'pig-also-dont-want-' results. Though seow wee isnt the best teacher in the school, but i've feel that she'd tried her best and is the most dedicated teacher i've and will ever meet in my whole entire edcation life. how i wish we could return to those math lessons and for once appreciate her scolding and her actions of silliness and not gossip abt her and criticising her, but really pay attention, see pass her inperfection and just learn and benefir from her. i hope that she'll still be teaching us next year. really. i've truly let all my Dear and Wonderful teachers down. but they've not given up one all of us. i wonder if i can ever be so loving and generous.
i think God is trying to teach my a valuable lesson and allowing me to fall once and to learn the hard and painful way. i've been rather distracted this year and been not really focus in my studies. i've not hungered and craved for the results so badly. though i claim to be a really consciencious(spelling sucks) student, im really not. i claim to do my work .but i loathe practising math. the only thing i ever does at home is to looking through my work and to squander all my time away doing useless stuff. and also i've been dissnering out in the recent months and returning home only after 9 many times. i think God is giving me a hard wake up call (a slap on my face) and telling me to find the direction in life and to be focus in my studies and to be more centred in him to have the christian strength and faith that all things are possible with God.
Well but its no use looking and sulking and regreting over the past. after letting our my frustration and reflection upon myself. i've decided that i'll work extra hard this hols (i've already started by organising my work for the hole year) and i work extra hard next year to ace in the first prelim. i will and i must! since God, my parents and sister, my techers, my peers, did not give up on me and have been encouraging me all the way to move on and try again (esp daddee), i will excel to my fullest and best potential. the promotion to sec 4 is an indication that no one had given up on me. and for that im truly appreaciative. and also the teachers have already planned so many remedials for the weaker students during the hols. just look at how serious and concered are they for us. love you teachers!
i also wanna encourage those that fail english/might be reatain. i know neither any one wanted this to happen. and what matter is that u've tried your best and have no regret. im sure the teachers will put a good word in for you if u've truly worked hard and have a good attitude. so All the Best! (:
this had been byfar, one of the most reflective and darkest entry i've every written.
i signed off as edie brit for the situational (yes it was me) and mneo have to go and mention in during the comments. all those around me who knew me turned and starred at me and i was caught dead, not sure to look embarrased or to pull it off glamourously, in the end it was a mixture of both. dont ever do it. "i vividly remember a student signing off as a character from desperature housewives, edie brit" yes she watches that american drama. and i failed my argumentative as i over generalise and commited many other mistakes.
taking exams in the hall is acutally quite cosy after all, with the warm lights and hugging your wooly sweater cos of the dumb winter aircon. but checking the papers in there for the whole day sucks big time.
so i guess im going to work doubly/triply hard during this hols. nothing else but mug and mug and mug and mug. ok maybe with a occasional shopping trip to destress. haha. (:
my english standard have indeed backslided alot till the point where i cant even use a wide variety of vocab to describe the feelings that i've evoked. how sadding. this is due to the lack of reading so im gonna read more during the hols. i couldnt do descriptive essay during the exam and i'll make sure i attained a flowery and a flare for the subject next year.
its 202 am now and i have to wake up early tmr as ke and lennart are coming to my royal castle. well i'm having insomia now. "rejected so-chai marble gang"
i remember i wanted to say something but i just forgot what is it. darn and god knows when im gonna blog again.
phew. ok i think this is a long enough entry and i dont think anyone even will read until here. considering that my blog is deserted and that no one of right mind would want to hear me rambling all the way till this point. but if u've reading till here, tag so that i know who really bothers about this glamourous life of andrew. who knows? i may see a hundred tags tmr. ha fat hope.
im kind of rambling, crapping, and being random aint i? oh well. i just...
we ride. JO-LU.
oh gosh im blogging again after like 2 months? haha i can conclude that im a lazy pig who cant bring myself to even blog abt anything, even after the finals'. yes indeed.
IM PROMOTED!!!
yes i am. and it was really a sign of relief for me when i passed english. considering the fact that i failed my math and sciences (that's how whorible i am in my studies). but on a brighter note, i clinched a distinction for lit and cheena (i dont know how and i still hate the subject) and i passed averagly for comb humans. i did pretty well for ss but it was the stupid geog that pulled my grade down.
well anyway congrats to those who did well or exceeded their expectations in this exam.
so the last 2 days were intensive script-checking. i dont kn0w how we managed but we did. it was hell tiring and it was like cramming every subject, paper after paper and just spending our whole day in the hall doing nothing but checking scripts. moreover for ppl like me who failed 4 subjects, its really quite a huge blow to get back everything only to realize u failed everything. well i kinda expected it anyway, but still. its mind boggling and emotionally straining.
i didnt think i would take my results so seriously esp a math which i always claimed it was a big joke. but i guess i did. yesterday and especially today, during the checking of papers. i felt just so depressed and disappointed with myself. a sense of fatigue overwhelmed me as i forced myself to maintain my composure. i mean i've already tried my best and worked hard over this year. and is the result i get? am i still not used to sec 3 life? whilst all my peers are scoring and aiming for their As? and im still trying desperately to pass? IMPOSSIBLE. something must be wrong, i thought to myself. but i've tried everything possible and nothing seems to be working right for me. i shallnt go into the details, but in general i could do less than half of the paper for the math and sciences. why? i ask myself? is it because i dont understand the content? not enough practice? or i simply aint cut out for math and sciences? i dont know. why does most ppl in my class who studies under the same environment and have the same teachers ace? but im definitely not giving up since God and everyone did not give up on me..
another issue im upset about is that some ppl are just so fast in their learning and absorbing information and some are just plain "tyco" while i have neither and i've literally cracked my brains trying to mug for this finals'. i started mugging as early as a month before the exams and i did intensive revision almost everyday. but why can someone who doesnt do anything in school, doesnt pay attention, doesnt do assignments and work, and has a very bad attitude, possibly achieved As and Bs in thes exams? does he have some extra power or did he work hard for it? i feel that this is so unjust. im just someone who's the exact opposite, i work hard and do my work regulary but i failed everything. just great.
Also, i felt that i've let down and disappointed my teachers especially sister seow wee, math teacher. i mean all of them work very hard since the beginning of this year to aim for us to fufill our fullest potential in this exam. and yet i came back with this kind of shit results. i've not done to my fullest potential, i know myself. and seow wee especially has worked tremdously hard and have forked out extra effort for our class especially the few of us when many a times, we offered us remedials lasting till the night and we'll the only souls in the schools. and even so she cared so much for us and kept reprimanding us and piling us with work, with the mere intention of helping us. However what we returned her was complains, being rude, talking and not paying attention during math and alas, scoring this kind of 'pig-also-dont-want-' results. Though seow wee isnt the best teacher in the school, but i've feel that she'd tried her best and is the most dedicated teacher i've and will ever meet in my whole entire edcation life. how i wish we could return to those math lessons and for once appreciate her scolding and her actions of silliness and not gossip abt her and criticising her, but really pay attention, see pass her inperfection and just learn and benefir from her. i hope that she'll still be teaching us next year. really. i've truly let all my Dear and Wonderful teachers down. but they've not given up one all of us. i wonder if i can ever be so loving and generous.
i think God is trying to teach my a valuable lesson and allowing me to fall once and to learn the hard and painful way. i've been rather distracted this year and been not really focus in my studies. i've not hungered and craved for the results so badly. though i claim to be a really consciencious(spelling sucks) student, im really not. i claim to do my work .but i loathe practising math. the only thing i ever does at home is to looking through my work and to squander all my time away doing useless stuff. and also i've been dissnering out in the recent months and returning home only after 9 many times. i think God is giving me a hard wake up call (a slap on my face) and telling me to find the direction in life and to be focus in my studies and to be more centred in him to have the christian strength and faith that all things are possible with God.
Well but its no use looking and sulking and regreting over the past. after letting our my frustration and reflection upon myself. i've decided that i'll work extra hard this hols (i've already started by organising my work for the hole year) and i work extra hard next year to ace in the first prelim. i will and i must! since God, my parents and sister, my techers, my peers, did not give up on me and have been encouraging me all the way to move on and try again (esp daddee), i will excel to my fullest and best potential. the promotion to sec 4 is an indication that no one had given up on me. and for that im truly appreaciative. and also the teachers have already planned so many remedials for the weaker students during the hols. just look at how serious and concered are they for us. love you teachers!
i also wanna encourage those that fail english/might be reatain. i know neither any one wanted this to happen. and what matter is that u've tried your best and have no regret. im sure the teachers will put a good word in for you if u've truly worked hard and have a good attitude. so All the Best! (:
this had been byfar, one of the most reflective and darkest entry i've every written.
i signed off as edie brit for the situational (yes it was me) and mneo have to go and mention in during the comments. all those around me who knew me turned and starred at me and i was caught dead, not sure to look embarrased or to pull it off glamourously, in the end it was a mixture of both. dont ever do it. "i vividly remember a student signing off as a character from desperature housewives, edie brit" yes she watches that american drama. and i failed my argumentative as i over generalise and commited many other mistakes.
taking exams in the hall is acutally quite cosy after all, with the warm lights and hugging your wooly sweater cos of the dumb winter aircon. but checking the papers in there for the whole day sucks big time.
so i guess im going to work doubly/triply hard during this hols. nothing else but mug and mug and mug and mug. ok maybe with a occasional shopping trip to destress. haha. (:
my english standard have indeed backslided alot till the point where i cant even use a wide variety of vocab to describe the feelings that i've evoked. how sadding. this is due to the lack of reading so im gonna read more during the hols. i couldnt do descriptive essay during the exam and i'll make sure i attained a flowery and a flare for the subject next year.
its 202 am now and i have to wake up early tmr as ke and lennart are coming to my royal castle. well i'm having insomia now. "rejected so-chai marble gang"
i remember i wanted to say something but i just forgot what is it. darn and god knows when im gonna blog again.
phew. ok i think this is a long enough entry and i dont think anyone even will read until here. considering that my blog is deserted and that no one of right mind would want to hear me rambling all the way till this point. but if u've reading till here, tag so that i know who really bothers about this glamourous life of andrew. who knows? i may see a hundred tags tmr. ha fat hope.
im kind of rambling, crapping, and being random aint i? oh well. i just...
we ride. JO-LU.